I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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