suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
