Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
