the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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