My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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