who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
