literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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