I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
