Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
They have beer where we have blood.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
