he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
