Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize