And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
