hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
