After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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