I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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