And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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