You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize