you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
