i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
