the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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