I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
