Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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