Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My vagina just clenched in fear
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize