i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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