you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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