I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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