You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
