Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he was CRYING into my vagina
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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