I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
