I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's official drugs can't kill me
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
