my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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