do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
