you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Oh god it's open bar.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
