Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Let's paint friendship bongs
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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