So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
