he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
