i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
