ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
