she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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