I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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