I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
be right there i have to get my cape
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
