She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So squirting runs in the family.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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