Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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