Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
