He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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