her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
