don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
