did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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