He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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