drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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