Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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