thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
