I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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