Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
