Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
