I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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