Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize