Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
