I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
