i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
