i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
