What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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