I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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