what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
