yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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