apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize