i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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