i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
