Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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