She's JV to your varsity
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
