You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
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