I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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