i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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