When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
