people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
