**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
